My Life is TOO Good to be True

After a little over two years of being in Pathways, it still seems like my life is too good to be true. I still wake up in my apartment thinking, “Is this really where I live?” Pathways has provided me with a beautiful apartment that is less than ten minutes from the beach. Before Pathways I didn’t have a stable safe environment to live in. Pathways provided me with that and more.

I’m currently in the process of transferring to CSUF to obtain bachelors in Psychology, with a long-term goal of becoming an FBI agent. Graduating with my AA and now transferring to a University seemed unreal, and still does.  I remember my first semester back to school I was crying to Dave because I was overwhelmed with my classes and didn’t think I was cut out for school. All Dave said was, “Do your best. That’s all you can do.” I’ve been doing my best and it’s gotten me pretty far.

When I came into Pathways I started attending therapy right away. Attending therapy has changed my life. My therapist knows everything about me and works with me in sorting through my traumas and life experiences. I’m learning how to live life in a healthy way. I’m learning how to be independent and not depending on others to validate me or make me happy. I’m so grateful for therapy and this opportunity to be so transparent with another person without any judgment. I can say ANYTHING to my therapist and feel safe.

I have over three years sobriety from alcohol and drugs. I attend AA meetings and I’m very active in service work within the AA community. I’m learning how to live life sober. This hasn’t been easy and has been a long journey. I hit a point in my sobriety where I felt like my life was repetitive and I had no excitement in it. My sponsor in AA suggested I find a hobby. I never had hobby, the only hobbies I had were drinking and partying. I tried painting and that didn’t tug at me too much. So Memorial day last year, I tried surfing with a few friends who were willing to teach me, and I fell in love.

Surfing isn’t just a sport to me. It’s my new high. It’s taught me to walk through fear, persevere, and that you can do anything you set out to do. I finally found my passion. I never thought I would get sober, let alone stay sober for as long as I have. Each day is a serious blessing and I am so grateful to get to live a sober life.

Just how the current in the ocean pulls you back and you continue swimming towards shore regardless, so it is with life. Life has pulled me back many times and still does, but regardless of this, I still keep swimming and never give up and always do my best. JWH