After being discharged from the psych ward, I was eager to shine for the people I love. But I soon learned some only appreciated my light when it was dimmed to their liking. I had to face the truth: there’s a difference between those who want me and those who only need me.
For most of my life, I was anchored by people-pleasing. I poured my energy into lifting others when I couldn’t even stand for myself. I used my own mirror that is meant for my reflection, just to let others see themselves. I was seen, only to never be seen at all.
The hardest moments came when I had to advocate for myself with people I cared deeply about. To say: I am human. I feel. I love. I deserve to be safe. Boundaries are not weapons; they are sanctuaries. But setting them cost me relationships that once felt like family. And because I have no real family, that loss cut deeper than I imagined.
Still, I discovered something sacred. Healing doesn’t come from abandoning myself to keep others comfortable. Healing comes from mourning, from grief, from the courage to choose myself even when it hurts. I realized I was surviving to be someone else’s shadow rather than living in my own light.
I acknowledge the hatred and disappointment some may feel toward me; I accept that they may never understand, and that’s okay. However, just because I give grace to their misunderstanding does not mean I must remain in it. Their truth does not have to become mine.
Now, I stand in my light: unapologetic, radiant, and whole.
~TC
